Oh, our sweet, cuddly Colli-wolli. I surely can't imagine our life without him! He is such a whiny mama's boy, so yes, he is just a boy ;)
Collin, unlike Alana, was somewhat planned. We were thinking about having another one, but I was really thinking Alana should be 1 first. She was 10 months when I became pregnant with Collin. I blame it partly on hormones (baby crazy hormones) and those darn shows about Bringing Home Baby and A Baby Story, which I watched pretty much everyday! (I have now banned myself from watching them)
I was really excited to be having another baby. Joe and I were in VA by this point and making our life together, as a family. He had a good job, we had a home and things were going pretty good for us. Money was still tight, but we were doing pretty good for our situation.
I felt sick constantly with him. Morning sickness ALL DAY LONG. At least with Alana, it was just the morning. My friend Risa was pregnant a couple of months before me and we were excited to be pregnant together. Unfortunately, she had complications and lost her son, Marcus, midway. I felt miserable for her and kind of guilty that my son was still thriving and healthy. She wouldn't have wished ill on anyone, but I still just felt bad. I was excited about Collin, but felt so bad for her. She was great though. I know it was, and probably still is hard for her, but she has been nothing but 100% supportive of my whole family. I am happy to say, she did try again and has a handsome little boy named Ryan!
With money being tight, Joe put his name on a list to be send overseas to make a little extra cash on the job. We needed and wanted the money, so he was all ready to go. Only problem was, I was 6+ months pregnant and living in VA near NO family and didn't want to have to completely rely on friends (not fair to them). So I went home to NM to be with my mom so we could make sure I wasn't going to get Preclampsia-again. I was just going to go for a couple of weeks and if everything went fine and normal I would fly back to VA with Alana and daddy would be home right before I would be induced, Dec. 30 I think it was.
Well that didn't happen. Sure enough, I hit 21 weeks and my BP went up. Guess I wasn't going back to VA after all. I went to the doctors once a week and my BP was always elevated. Knowing my history of my last pregnancy and being there, they were not taking chances. Once I said I saw spots, they sent me to labor and delivery and set me up for an ambulance to take me back to El Paso, TX. I thought I was having Collin that next morning. But, my doc from Alana, Dr. Harlass, came in and told me he wasn't going to take him out yet. He sent me to post-pardum to lay low for a few days and see what my BP did. It went down. I was released and sent back home. Next week, I go into my doc there at my moms, BP high, sends me back and Harlass says he will take over from here and I only go visit him down in El Paso, where we have to drive 1.5 hours :/ next 6 weeks, I go down for my appt. BP is high, he keeps me for a couple of days to get it down and releases me. I'm going nuts! Bored and miss Alana and daddy and so much driving back an fourth, but what choice did I have? I didn't want another tiny baby who may or may not survive! So my family and I did it.
At 34 weeks 6days, I go for my appt with Dr. Harlass and he says okay, enough games, I want him out of you before one of these times you make this drive down and the baby is no longer alive. I say "Okay, I don't want that TAKE HIM OUT THEN!" Daddy still isn't home though. I had very mixed feelings, but I didn't want anything to happen to my Collin. So I spend the night there and the next morning I am scheduled to have Collin!
Wow, that was a tough night in the hospital! I was alone because my family was watching Alana to keep her content and safe while I was in the hospital. It was what I wanted. I have NO idea what I would have done if I was not home and could rely on them. I know my friends in VA would have done as much as humanly possible, but I would have felt so guilty. I can't thank my mom and family enough for all the help they have given us with bringing out little angels into the world. I remember talking to Joe, he only had 11 more days overseas, I was sad he was going to miss the birth of his son and I knew this was a possibility, but I was sad he wasn't there physically for me either. I called some of my best friends and had them keep me company that night. You know who you are, and I love you guys too! I was really nervous, but they told me he was at least 5.5lbs and should be a healthy boy as far as they could tell. I thought, hey, I might get to hold my baby after he is born! That was a warm thought for me since I didn't see Alana for a couple of days after she was born and didn't hold her for a couple of weeks!
So it is the morning of delivery and my mom and step dad came to support me! I thought they would both be in the delivery OR, but they only let my mom in. My BP was, 198/180 or so. Too high. Epidural went fine, everything went smoothly, until they took Collin out. It took awhile for him to cry. NICU was there just incase with my history and the fact he was only 35 weeks. He was 6lbs 2oz, so he was a healthy size, but he was having respiratory distress. They put him in an isolete to hurry him to NICU, but stopped for a moment in front of me so I could see my baby boy. That meant alot to me even though I really wanted to hold him!
They put tubes down his throat to help him breathe and had him all hooked up by the time I could see him, late that night. I was so heart broken that another one of my children had to be like this, helpless, without their mama and not being abled to be cuddled. I always felt so sick in NICU with both of them. I was so thankfully they were alive, but had the saddest feeling in the world that they had to be there because my body wouldn't keep them until term. He did good though, he was just put on oxygen two days later and then weaned off slowly. When daddy got home, 10 days later, Collin was released and he was a healthy and happy little boy! That was a great moment and so thankful he recovered so fast.
Once I had found out I had preclampsia again, Joe and I discussed and strongly urged by my Dr. to get my tubes tied. Normally, being as young as I am, it is not encouraged, but my chances of having complications again are about 99% likely. I don't know if my body could handle another pregnancy, I don't know if I could mentally handle another. So we made the hard decision to have them tied. I want more kids, but it must not be meant to be. I have so much to be thankful for. A daughter and son who have overcome so much in their little lives and for them to be perfecting healthy and normal now is truly a miracle and I feel so blessed.
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